On the fourth day, Jesus and His disciples entered into the city to present His most popular seminar: “You Too Can Walk On Water!” As they were descending from their tour bus, the Galilee Express, a beggar approached Jesus. “Lord, I beseech thee!” the beggar cried. “I am without sustenance for my family. My position at the local cannery has been eliminated. My daughter, who is but three years old, has taken sick and the Sanhedrin has closed the public clinic where we would normally take her to be treated. Lord, a crust of bread, a shekel, a healing hand upon my daughter’s brow is all I ask.”
When the beggar was finished, Jesus looked upon him with His warm brown eyes, eyes filled with love. “Brother, I say to thee that if thou goes forth and sins no more, thou shalt be whole in the Kingdom of My Father. Here is a coupon worth half off admission to tonight’s seminar. We’ll see you there!” And with that, Jesus turned to sign another autograph. As the disciples followed Jesus into the convention center, Bartholomew accidentally stepped on the beggar’s wrist and broke it.
Next year there will be new Congressional districts in Iowa. I will be in the First District, which is currently represented by Democrat Bruce Braley. I see in today’s news that Braley showed up at a rally the corporate jet manufacturers’ association held in Cedar Rapids. Also there were Republican extremists Charles Grassley and Steve King. Nine percent unemployment and Braley is playing shill for a corporate PR event.
Here is the text of an email I sent Braley:
Dear Congressman Braley,
What could you have been thinking when you showed up at the Cedar Rapids rally put on by the corporate jet manufacturers’ association? As a result of the newly drawn congressional districts, you will be campaigning for election in a district that includes Mount Vernon, where I live. I assure you my loyalty to the Democratic Party does not prevent me from refusing to vote for a candidate who appears at an event like this.
The email could actually be translated to read “get your head out of your butt and act like a Democrat for god’s sake.”
Back in 1948, Ted Mack’s Original Amateur Hour debuted on TV. Throughout its 22-year run, it brought American audiences a plethora of “talent”: plate spinners, jugglers, banjo strummers, roller skating singers, girls twirling flaming batons, tap dancers and the like.
Everything remains the same! Today’s Amateur Hour is being broadcast from Washington DC and from remote locations around the country. Your sponsor and primary talent source: The Tea Party and its wholly owned subsidiary, The Republican Party.
Instead of china plates, the Tea Party has put our nation’s economy up on a slender reeds to spin….wo, lookout! That one over there is starting to wobble! Aw, dang, the market crashed 500 points…well, it’s medicine we need.
Actually, a better parallel can be drawn with the early stages of a new season of American Idol where really horrible acts are brought out on stage to try their luck. The major difference is that the really horrible acts on the political stage actually have their hands on the reins of government.
Tim “T-Paw” Pawlenty. Ever heard of him? Me neither. Michele Bachmann AKA Sarah Palin without the hinkey-ass glasses. Herman Cain. Sorry Herman, I thought they said “Alan Keyes” at first. Now here comes Rick Perry. Just what we need. Another Texas governor as president. He and Bush have quite a bit in common; for example, they both like to execute prisoners. There are differences though. Bush never claimed Jebus told him to run and Bush never hosted a stadium prayer rally. Of course, there are people in this country who think hosting a gathering of 20,000 fundamental Xians is an excellent quality in a president. I just don’t happen to be one of them.
Perry claims that Texas has been an engine of job creation during the bad economic times. Um, maybe. From 2007 to 2010, the number of minimum wage workers in Texas rose from 221,000 to 550,000. Good jobs with free fries for working that extra shift!
Texas has the highest proportion of children without health insurance, ranks 43rd in high school graduation rate and in 2009 17 percent of Texans lived below the poverty level, compared with 14 percent for the nation. If Texas isn’t heaven, it’s for sure within walking distance!
Of course, there are liberals who pooh pooh Perry’s role in the economic expansion in Texas. They try raise smoke screens like bringing up the fact that the Texas oil companies have seen a ginormous spike in oil and gas prices. Of course there’s a connection! The free market championed by Gov. Perry is taking the money people in Iowa, Colorado, Taxachussetts, and other states pay for gas and transfer that money directly into the pockets of chauffeurs, gardeners and fast-food workers all across the Lone Star State!
I have to stop now and go write a check to the Perry for President campaign. Be back later!
Q: What’s the difference between Barack Obama and Grover Norquist?
A: Grover Norquist has principles he stands up for.