After careful consideration, I have come to the conclusion that those people in the Tea Party should have the unalienable right to opt out of the burdens imposed by our tax system. Every American citizen should be able to decide on their own whether or not to participate in the United States tax system.

Of course, the flip side is that they shouldn’t be allowed to drive on highways built with tax money. They will have to send their kids to schools that aren’t supported by taxes. Farmers won’t be able to participate in price support programs. If your house catches on fire, call the local private fire department. If a robber breaks in, your private security guy will handle it. Turning 65 will be no big deal because you won’t be participating in either Social Security or Medicare. Special airline flights will be designated for you that won’t have Federal security screenings or licensed pilots. You will take off and land from private airports and be guided through the skies by privatized air traffic controllers.

Your medical treatments will be based only on research that was not funded by the National Institutes of Health administered by health care providers who were trained entirely without taxpayer money in institutions that receive not a dime of federal assistance. You will be able to eat food that wasn’t inspected by the US Department of Agriculture in uninspected restaurants. If you get sick, no problem. You can take drugs that haven’t been approved by the Food and Drug Administration. If you have a beef, don’t call a lawyer; fight a duel.

All in all, a world that is exactly like that envisioned by our Founding Fathers.

Let’s hope Pat Robertson has completely lost it. If he hasn’t, he has to be one of the meanest SOBs in the history of the planet.

The so-called “evangelist” used his TV show to declare that earthquake-ravaged Haiti has been “cursed” by a “pact to the devil.”

“Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it,” he said on Christian Broadcasting Network’s “The 700 Club.” “They were under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon III, or whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, we will serve you if you’ll get us free from the French. True story. And so, the devil said, okay it’s a deal.”

Only someone who has serious wiring issues could even make up something like that. The alternative is too scary to consider.